Sheer Genius {or utter stupidity}

I hate to interrupt my regularly scheduled link party,
but I felt the need to chronicle my moment of brilliance.
Actually, I don’t even know yet if I was a success,
but I’m an optimist, so we’ll pretend, okay?
What am I talking about?
(get comfy…that’s isn’t a short story)
Well, months ago, when we first moved to this house,
I was driving the back roads near our home – sightseeing.
I came across an abandoned farmhouse.
The yard was a mess of tall grass and weeds,
windows were broke and the porch was in shambles.
But what I saw on the porch left me speechless.
No, it wasn’t the mouse that jumped off an old
dresser sitting on the porch,
(yes…I sort of trespassed to take this photo)
 It was the porch posts.
They were a chippy, old, glorious vision.
I wanted those posts and I wanted them BAD.
But…it’s an abandoned farmhouse and there aren’t any nearby 
neighbors I could ask to find out who owns it.
And that old cheesecloth blowing in the breeze…it’s beautiful.
Well, it was beautiful in a “I wouldn’t want it hanging from my porch, 
but gosh-darn it looks pretty hanging there” kind of way.
There’s a project (yes…in my kitchen) that I needed a chippy old post for 
(yes…you’ll have to wait awhile to see it).
I *needed* posts like that. 
I checked several antique stores, with no luck
and I need them NOW, so I can’t keep waiting to see if I’ll come across any 
(darn…tonight was auction night and I didn’t go…
what if a chippy, antique porch post was there for me?!!*#@)
I digress….sorry.
I’d much rather have an authentic, old, chippy post,
but sometimes you gotta fake it.
Hubby and I went to Lowes and I found the closest
posts in shape and size to what I want.
I stained them so it would look dark underneath the 
incredible, DIY, chippy wood project I was about to complete.
Then I did a super sloppy paint job on them, 
then threw sand on them….and dripped candle wax on them.
Then I spray painted them to make the sand stick better.
Then I painted another sloppy coat.
Then it occurred to me that I should have experimented
on just ONE post, in case this didn’t work, so I’d only
be wasting $16 and not $32, but I’m an optimist…remember?
I hate to leave you hanging, but they are drying right now,
so the jury is still out.
When my husband gets home, he’s either going
to be singing my praises that he married the smartest gal in the world…
or asking me if I’ve been sniffing paint again.
I’ll let you know which later.
Before any of you comment that you’ve used the 
drippy wax and sand method, just remember…
this is MY story – be a genius in your own blog post! ;0}
Don’t forget to link up your vintage-inspired posts 
and Knick of Time Tuesday…it’s happening now!
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  1. Sniffing paint…lol! I have never used the sand/wax technique! Looking forward to hearing what happens!

  2. Oh, how I love reading about your travails! The postS, plural, look great!

    “Sniffin’ paint”… I hope not, but my experience with the opposite sex is that you won’t be hearing “smartest gal in the world,” either–except from US, of course!;) xoxo

  3. Waiting the results….tap tap tap…..tap tap tap….

  4. I’ve never used this method either. So far…You’ve knocked our socks off. Hope you impress the husband just as much! I guess a sawz-all and the dark of night was out of the question for the authentic version you photographed? I mean…You already trespassed. (…I know, Thou Shalt Not…) I was only kidding. Besides, I know you’re not a thief. But you are genius!
    I wonder if that ‘textured’ paint would work for something like this? If you added a slathering of white glue between layers…you’d get a nice crackle finish too, with the the expense of ‘crackle paint’…

    So there you go. Chippy old post…Knick of Time Style!


  5. You are playing my game now! Just how grungy can I make this paint job look! lol Is anything more fun than this? ~ Maureen

  6. Love the chippy old post and cheesecloth, too. But your experiment may be sheer genius!

  7. All right, we will just wait and see if you are a genius….Wow us!!


  8. This is an amazing idea, which I will copy as soon as possible. Great Job, and if it had taken pee, then so be it.

  9. I never heard of the sand and wax technique. I have tried the vaseline technique and that does work quite well.

  10. Anonymous says:

    Love them……Great Job!!!!

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